ONE MINUTE MELEE: Knuckles the Echidna vs. Shrek
Description 2 Fighters! No research! 60 Seconds! Melee! Who wields more strength? Interlude ONE MINUTE MELEE! WHERE ALL THE FIGHTS ARE SETTLED IN 60 SECONDS! 2 FIGHTERS! NO RESEARCH! 60 SECONDS! MELEE! MELEE! Shrek's Swamp, outside Knuckles was taking a casual stroll, and came to a new location unlike that he'd ever seen. It was a dry swamp, trees, mud, and all. Beside him was a rectangular wooden sign with a crudely-drawn picture of a green ogre on it, with the words "BEWARE OF OGRE" crudely written in red. Of course, this was Knuckles, so he couldn't read. Instead, Knuckles walked toward the focal point of the swamp - Shrek's house. ---- Shrek's house "Ah, nice to finally be alone." Shrek muttered with a sigh of relief and a grin on his face. He was sitting at his table, treating himself to some snail soup while Smash Mouth's "All-Star" was playing in the background. Suddenly, he looked out his window to see the echidna walking toward his house. Shrek's grin turned to a an angry scowl. He crushed the spoon he was holding into nothing but dust as he watched Knuckles approach. This strange animal wasn't going to ruin his perfect day. ---- "What's in here?" Knuckles asked himself, about to knock on the door. But then suddenly, Shrek burst through the door, pushing Knuckles onto the ground. "Oh no!" he shouted out, then looking up at Shrek. Shrek glared right into Knuckles' eyes. "What. Are ya doing. In my swamp?!" Knuckles held up his fists in battle position. "Hey, get off, creep!" Hey now, you're an all-star! FIGHT! Knuckles punched Shrek straight in the gut, knocking the ogre down onto his buttocks. Right as Shrek fell over, he delivered a huge ogre kick into Knuckles' chest. "Oh no!" The force of the attack sent Knuckles down onto the ground as Shrek got back up. While Knuckles was on the ground, Shrek grabbed the trunk of a tree in his swamp and lifted it up, swinging it like a baseball bat at the echidna. "Oh no!" Knuckles quickly got back up and caught the tree before it could hit him, and then he began to pull back, the heels of his feet digging into the ground as he pulled the trunk. Shrek grunted as he pulled the tree too, and both of them pulled so hard that the tree ripped in half. The halves of the tree were both launched into the air as both strong punchers landed on their behinds again. Shrek quickly got back up, wiping the dirt off of his face. He picked up a spherical rock that was oh-so-conveniently placed next to him and hurled it at Rad Red. "Oh no!" Knuckles punched the rock that Shrek threw mid-air, crumbling it into dust as it hit. Knuckles then ran toward Shrek and delivered a swift uppercut into Shrek's chin. A subtle "CR-ACK!" was heard upon impact, but Shrek quickly retaliated with a headbutt into Knuckles' forehead. Knuckles fell down onto the ground again. "Oh no!" Shrek then picked up Knuckles by the right leg. "Oh no!" The ogre chucked the echidna into the air, but then Knuckles turned around in midair and then fell down in a drilling motion. Shrek quickly stepped to the side, but then Knuckles dug a hole into the ground, kicking up dirt. "Alright, where did ya go?" asked Shrek. He scanned the surrounding area for a few seconds. Surely the echidna had to be around somewhere. But then Shrek looked down in horror as he felt a rumbling tremor from beneath his feet. "Oh, this is just great." Right as he finished his sentence, Knuckles sprung up from underneath the ground and delivered a hard punch into Shrek's crotch. "Oof!" Shrek grunted, suddenly being sent to his knees as he covered his crotch. "Ow! Ugh... yer gonna pay for that!" During Shrek's time of weakness, Knuckles started running circles around the ogre. Shrek turned his head, trying to track the echidna, but he appeared as nothing but a red blur. Shrek then walked toward the outer edge of the circle and extended his leg, and then Knuckles was suddenly tripped as he fell face-first onto the ground. Shrek grabbed Knuckles by the leg, but then they both wore an "Oh Crap!" face as the ground beneath them crumbled into dust, revealing a large hole beneath the ground. "Oh no!" Shrek and Knuckles started to fall downward, the two of them barely visible. "You're gonna get Shrekt!" shouted Shrek. Shrek punched Knuckles in the gut, but Knuckles responded with a punch into Shrek's face. This punch created a small explosion into the air, singing Shrek's face a black color. Shrek angrily grabbed Knuckles by the throat (keep in mind the two were still falling) and punched him against the wall of the hole. "Oh no!" "Alright, ya annoyin' animal! Get outta mah swamp!" Shrek yelled, hurling Knuckles out of the hole with a swift throw of his arm. "Oh no!" Knuckles shouted as a mach cone appeared over his head. His body began to slowly combust as he reached the surface again, and even reached heights above the tallest trees! He then began to fall back down. Knuckles' eyes widened as he saw what he was about to land on. Shrek's outhouse. "Oh no!" The roof of the outhouse was shattered as Knuckles fell face-first inside. "Oh no!" Shrek then (somehow) appeared outside of the hole, and then walked toward his outhouse with a grin. "Alright, I've got something I need to let out." He said as he opened the door to find a horrified echidna. BRRRAAAAAAAPPPP! A huge farting sound was heard as a mushroom cloud of green gas appeared over the outhouse. Shrek walked out of the outhouse, with a grin on his face. "Ah, now I can go back in peace." K.O.! THIS MELEE'S VICTORY GOES TO... SHREK! Category:What-If? One Minute Melees Category:Completed What-If? One Minute Melees Category:'East vs West' themed One Minute Melees Category:Joke One Minute Melees